"Thanks for all you do for the family. Love you babe."

Sometimes, this is all you need to hear to make life feel better. As Valentine's Day approaches, I started thinking about how sweet this sentiment was. Matt sent me these flowers without a reason, just to tell me he appreciates me and all I do for our family. It doesn’t happen often. But when it does, it means so much to me and he knows it does. It was more special than receiving the obligatory bouquet on Valentine's Day. (Not that I don't love the attention, this was just different).

I know to many people, sending flowers is a pointless waste of money because they just die. Some people feel the same way about making their bed everyday, "Why do it? I'm just going to get in it again tonight."

But in the daily grind of life, responsibilities, routine, the mundane, it's nice to hear thanks, I love you and to receive flowers (if that’s the kind of thing you’re into). I'm not saying it's the only way to say I love you. As a matter of fact, I think it’s really important to look at how you show your love and gratitude to the people you love. Maybe it’s a back rub, a gift card to a bookstore, a “freedom to be by yourself for three hours” certificate, hot wings and beer when you’re mostly watching what you eat, an afternoon to shop with your friends. Whatever it is, showing this kind of gratitude monthly if not weekly will go a long way in your relationship.

Sometimes showing your love, gratitude and appreciation in a way that's maybe not important to YOU but IS to your mate is what REALLY matters. Being sweet and thoughtful can change your entire relationship. The more you show your significant other how you care in ways they'll relate to, the more special it will be. Especially if you're not the type to shower your other half with expressions of daily love and gratitude.

I wouldn't ever send my husband flowers, because he would die. When we were first married and he was at his first corporate job, I sent him a bouquet of balloons on his birthday. I wanted him to feel special. Looking back on it now, it totally embarrassed him and I would never dream of doing that now. Not only that, but I was thinking of what would make ME happy on my birthday. I wasn't thinking of what would make HIM happy on his birthday.

The way I know to make him feel my love and gratitude is to cook his favorite meal or to tell him he should go out for beers after work with his friends. He buys himself the things he wants, I can rarely buy him something he doesn’t already have. Sometimes I do all the garbage, have his favorite dinner cooked, the kids already bathed, teeth brushed, in their jammies and in bed so when he gets home, he can just relax and watch TV.... (wait, that's most nights, but you get the picture…)

Beyond each other’s routine commitments to daily life (laundry, cooking, looking after the kids, going to work, cleaning) what do you do to show your love for each other?

Life gets busy especially in the season we are in. Little kids at home, growing a business, climbing the corporate ladder, running that rat race, trying to live a healthy life and without family close by to assist. We have to depend on each other. A lot. And it has to be a total joint effort. We are getting into a better groove and I am trying really, really hard to make coming home (and being home) more enjoyable. I am happy to see he wants to reciprocate. We have to work at protecting each other so we don’t feel taken advantage of and I think this is one of the most simple ways we can accomplish that.

What ways do you show your significant other love? Do you think about what makes them tick? Do you try to do something weekly? Monthly?